Quicky

I'm back, again, at the favorite lesbian coffee shop. This time, I am waiting until it's time to go pick up my best friend from the airport, an event I have been giddily excited about since she dropped me off at the airport in San Diego four months ago. This particular brand of long distance relationships sucks.

I'm snarky today. I don't know why; it's beautiful outside, I'm drinking good coffee, I'm headed to pick up my best friend, and I'm noticing an edge of the snark. It crept into my consciousness yesterday and whacked me with a psychological two by four. Maybe today's snark is residual. I learned yesterday not to combine a large amount of caffine with tired and tense. I damn near chewed my lips off, because of the things my caffinated, sleep deprived brain thought it wanted to say.

So, maybe this is what I'm chewing on. I'm chewing on how to say what's on my mind in a way that's fair. I have a job where I'm going to have to learn how to be a lot more transparent, because I'm working with people who'll pick up on my nicities and bullshit quicker than I know what's going on. So, how do I say what's on my mind, while recognizing my own piece in things, recognizing piece of things are just me mad because I'm acting out old patterns, recognizing what will calm down if I just let it be and recognizing that I have a right to be heard? It's times like this that my internal nature really get to me because I spin and spin and spin with no hint of reality, just what I think, which is seldom reality.

But, whatever. It's time to go to the airport.